


In all my life I don't know that I ever felt so alive

by stellations



Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 08:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6603145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellations/pseuds/stellations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Set directly following the events of 3x16: <i>Awakening</i>.<br/>Title from lyrics: "Awakening" by Switchfoot</p>
    </blockquote>





	In all my life I don't know that I ever felt so alive

**Author's Note:**

> Set directly following the events of 3x16: _Awakening_.  
>  Title from lyrics: "Awakening" by Switchfoot

Helen Magnus liked being in control. A large part of her very long life had been spent being utterly in control. The last few days, perhaps even this entire year, had been anything but. 

She and Nikola only recently arrived back in the Old City Sanctuary. A few hours have passed in which Helen had pointedly directed Nikola to take a shower before she began work on his serum. Fortunately, making a dose was easy and she left it on a nightstand in his room, alongside his passport and an old magazine. Her eyes took it in for a few moments, that and the rest of the room, until she finally pulled herself away from her lingering fear and the nagging thoughts that kept reminding her that she almost lost him. For several long, painful moments, she was very literally the last of the Five. That was something she never wanted to repeat.

Never again.

As it was, she decided to join him. Figuratively. Heaven forbid she do it literally. He would never let her live it down after all of his comments about her jealousy over Afina. Closing her eyes, she stepped into the shower, letting the warm water wash away the dirt that felt practically embedded into her skin and under her nails, as though it was a part of her now. She hadn't exactly been injured. Perhaps a few bruises here and there from having been thrown around by Afina. Nothing incredibly visible, fortunately. Otherwise her next meeting with her staff would be far less cordial than she already expected. 

She had to tell them. She knew that. They deserved to know. But it would be far from easy to tell them.

Stepping out of the shower, she continued her routine, buying herself a little more time while she ran through scenarios and planned for every possible outcome. Helen knew her staff, her family. She knew how they would react to this news. Planning for their reactions would not be difficult. Yet still she did, unable to leave even a small thing like that to chance. 

With every eyelash, every stray hair, and every stroke of eye shadow perfectly in place, Helen made her way back down to her office. Was she ready for this? The question lingered as she let her fingers drift over the siding on the elevator doors. No, of course not. No one would be pleased by what she had to say. Yet say it she would and to that end she _was_ ready. Ready to get this over with and leave a piece of her life firmly behind. 

Sharply and easily, she turned and strode into her office, folding herself into the chair behind her desk. Contacting her staff was also not difficult and soon all of them had turned up in her office. Including her Old Friend. Remaining behind her desk was a power play, one they all recognized as soon as she motioned them towards the chairs in front of her desk. With the desk in between them, she had a buffer in case the reactions were as bad as she expected. It also made the meeting more formal and told them all that what she had to explain was serious. Will looked prepared for terrible news as he slid into one of the chairs and she knew well that he was trying to read her as well as he could as quickly as he could. She kept her expression intentionally calm and collected. No one else sat, even though there were plenty of places. Henry and Kate stood on the same relative line behind Will and Helen's Old Friend stood the furthest back, in the space left between all three. 

For a moment, Helen allowed her eyes to wander from one to the other. Then she took a deep breath.

"There's something I need to tell you all. About Nikola."

"Tesla?"

"What did he do _now_?"

"Well, it's less what _he_ did and more... what _I_ did to _him_." That got them to quiet, though the looks they were giving her were pretty much astonished with a side of confused. 

Henry and Kate traded looks. 

"Oh, I don't like this," the Old Friend grumbled.

Will leaned forward slightly. "Magnus...?" He knew her far too well, which was partially what she had hired him to do in the first place. Learn her, learn to read her, be her emotional compass. At times like this, she wished he didn't know her _quite_ so well.

Helen pursed her lips. "You all know that we were following the map's coordinates to find ancient Praxian ruins." Of course they did. Helen had made certain they were informed before she and Nikola left. Just in case. "As it turns out, the one we selected had been overrun by the Sanguine Vampiris race. It was home to an entombed vampire queen and her court. Eventually, we were forced to blow the place up to ensure that Afina never reached the surface."

This, of course, only barely scratched the surface and the look on Will's face told her that he would be asking questions if she didn't provide the answers first.

Will turned out to be quicker than she was. "What does this have to do with Tesla? I'm sure he was thrilled to see the last living vampires be killed by you." 

"Well, after Afina shoved him down a trap door and threatened to use me as an eternal canteen for her entire court, he wasn't too keen on following her." Which said a great deal about Nikola that Helen was less than keen on exploring at that particular moment. "He was more interested in something else. You see... Prior to that, we sort of tripped the vampire security system. Nikola would have died if I hadn't done it."

"Done what?" 

"Why do I get the feeling this isn't going to be like the Adjuster or anything _remotely_ related to heroics..."

"Magnus..."

Helen winced slightly. Will was onto her; she could tell. He knew she was playing her cards well, keeping them hooked into the story so that whatever it was would not be worse than the option of letting Nikola die. 

"I woke the vampire queen by smashing into her crystal stasis in order to procure an untainted sample of her blood."

Kate was slower than the rest of them simply because she hadn't been around as long. She didn't have the experience with the Source Blood that the rest of them did. Will quickly pinched the bridge of his nose, Henry slowly gaped, and her Old Friend started growling softly in the background.

"Please tell me this does not mean what I think it means."

"That we have a newly-fanged vampire? Yes, actually; it does."

The reactions were instantaneous.

"You're kidding, right?" Kate asked, glancing at everyone else incredulously. "She _is_ joking, isn't she?"

It was Henry's turn to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I don't think so."

Will shook his head, letting his hand drop back to his lap. "Every time, Magnus. Every time."

Helen's eyes narrowed slightly. "What are you suggesting? That he intentionally tried to get himself killed so that I would find a way to revamp him?" If they had been there to see the events as they unfolded, not a one of them would be able to accuse Nikola of _that_. He might have had an ego the size of the entire planet, but he would never have intentionally hurt himself.

Or Helen.

"Wouldn't he?"

"You can't be serious." Helen's gaze moved quickly from one person to the next. They all seemed to be asking her why he wouldn't. "We were lucky to find the tomb at all. We almost didn't. If it weren't for his request that I read in his final minutes, I never would have found the symbols that told us she was there."

"And there wasn't any other way to save him? You couldn't just radio back, could you?"

Her patience was officially running thin. Between listening to Nikola's hungry growls while they drove back and being so full of exhaustion from the adrenaline crash after meeting Afina, Helen had little patience for much else. She had known this would be an option, had prepared for it before she went in; however, she always found it irritating to have them question her about Nikola.

"My oldest friend was _dying_ , Will. I couldn't just leave him there." She ignored the note to her tone, one that she didn't want to analyze and yet knew Will was doing exactly that to from the moment she allowed it to leave her throat. "Besides, we were trapped and there wasn't time. Revamping him was the only solution that would save his life."

Kate huffed out an incredulous breath that was only surpassed by the look on her face. "Great. So we've got a newly-fanged vampire staying here. I give it two days before he's back to finding ways to resurrect his race."

"Or Afina," Will added on tiredly.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm not taking that bet," Henry voiced.

"Smart man, Hank," Kate tossed over her shoulder as she finally left the office. 

Henry followed, shaking his head. 

Will hesitated, watching Helen for a few seconds. Sighing, he finally pushed himself to his feet. "I just hope you know what you're doing," he said tiredly before following the other two out.

Her Old Friend was last and as Helen shifted some of the papers on her desk, he finally approached. "Magnus... you should know... I don't trust him. But I trust your judgment."

"I know, Old Friend," she sighed softly. "And I appreciate that."

Pursing her lips tightly, she reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze of gratitude. Her gaze followed him as he released her hand and turned to go. She watched his retreating back, knowing that they would have some interesting times ahead of them now. With Nikola a newly reformed vampire, nothing would ever quite be like it was. Her long-held control was back to being not-so.

And somehow, she thought with a secretive smile as she turned back to her paperwork, she didn't really mind.


End file.
